‘Go The Distance’

Remember when that voice said those words and raised goosebumps on the back of your neck the first time you watched the movie ‘Field of Dreams’??  It was an inner voice basically cajoling the main character (played by a then hunky Kevin Costner) to build a baseball field in the middle of his Iowa corn field, gather together the remote people who played a mysterious game that brought about a needed reconciliation with his long dead father. 

Dang, we loved that movie.

Saw it a multitude of times.

Never really thought much about that phrase.

But I am here to say now that distance……sucks.

I didn’t think it was going to suck when I went away to a college seventeen hours by car from home. I was up to the adventure and looking forward to finishing my education and starting my career.  I was all about classes and friends and student teaching assignments then.  My parents flew me home for Christmas.  I missed my Grandfather’s funeral.  Distance sucked.

I didn’t think it was going to suck when my sister moved away to a state thirteen hours away by car.  I was excited for her ‘adventure.’  I knew she would be back.  She had gone to a local college after all.  She loved her home.  But she found a career and a husband and started a family.  Holidays became an issue.  One of us had to travel in order to be together as a family.  There were birthday parties, school events, missing teeth and other things that we missed with only sporadic times spent with my niece and nephew.  Distance sucked.

I knew that distance sucked when we started our adoption journey.  Our son was in a city clear around on the other side of the world.  But we were busy with paper work and preparations for his homecoming to keep us distracted.  Then came some pretty scary political posturing by two nations that didn’t give a fig that he was there and we were here.  Distance REALLY sucked.

When my parents decided to sell their home of forty odd years, pack up their belongings and hit the road, distance became an ‘adventure’ once again.  They used our home as a ‘base’ and traveled toward California via the northern route and then the southern route.  They made trips to Florida and back again.  It was fun to be in touch and to welcome them home.  Then they found a house in Florida and decided to put down roots.  The distance between my sister’s home and theirs was bearable.  The distance between their home and ours was not.  I worried about the things they would miss as my son grew up.  And the things WE would miss.  Distance sucked.

My parents stayed with our son when we traveled to the other side of the world to bring his sister home.  Seventeen days we spent in a remote city in Siberia.  Plane flights, long car drives, telephone service was sketchy at best.  We talked….twice.  Emailed a couple of times.  Missed everyone immensely.  Distance sucked.

But again, years have passed.  There have been birthdays and holidays, school events, sports events, missing teeth and big deals that have to be shared over the telephone.  Distance sucks.

Distance totally sucked for an entire summer three years ago.  My mother’s ‘simple’  surgery became complicated with infections and blood clots.  My sister spent the entire month of May eight hours away from her family as she helped my dad navagate the medical waters and papers and plans.   Then I arrived when school got out with my two children in tow.  The ‘plan’ was to settle in and get my mother back on her feet and go home.  We would be there a couple of weeks….maybe.    Seven weeks later my children had been away from their Dad, their friends and their bikes and their soccer teams.   My mother was still in a wheel chair but was better….MUCH better.  They put their house up for sale and we headed home.  Our hopes were high that their house would sell and they would move closer to one of us.  But regardless,  we said then, that if either of them needed any kind of surgery, they would have it near my home or my sister’s.

Fast forward three years.  My mother is still in ICU in a medical center near her Florida home after  triple by pass surgery.  My sister has just left the hospital for her home 8 hours away from there.  And here I sit….in my home twenty four hours away.

Distance TOTALLY sucks.

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One Comment on “‘Go The Distance’”

  1. Darcy Says:

    Here! Here! Distance REALLY does suck!!!!


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