Posted tagged ‘marriage’

Tues-Dates

March 25, 2010

I am a part time Teacher.  Years ago, when we brought the Princess home from her Russian orphanage, I became a ‘half time’ Teacher.  I taught one section of Kindergarten.  My students came two and a half days per week…and then 2 days one week and three days the next week.  How 5 year olds adjusted to THAT routine is another blog.  This schedule allowed me to bring home a paycheck and STILL do the ‘Mommy and Me’ thing with my new five year old daughter.  She went to preschool/daycare on the days that I worked.  When she started school full time, I applied myself to getting back into a full time position….for seven years.   Not easy……and not fun for the pocket book now that my kids were older.  But I DID like my days off.  Our house was quiet.  I was writing….and sewing….and quilting…..and shopping……and cleaning (sometimes). 

Last year I was upgraded to an 8/10ths position…..or four days a week.   MUCH nicer on the bank account.  And my Principal, who was involved in the “specials’ scheduling process asked which day of the week I wanted to keep as a day off.  I could pick any day except  Monday or Friday. 

I kept Tuesday….which wierdly works to my benefit in the long run.  I am never working on that first day of school so I can get my own kiddos off to a good start.  And those Monday Off holidays always turn into Monday/Tuesday Off holidays for me.  I cherished my Tuesdays.  Our house was quiet.  I was writing….and sewing….and quilting…..and shopping……and cleaning (sometimes). 

So when the Hubby told me last fall that he would be laid off for a considerable amount of time ( five MONTHS…yikes!) , I was a bit crushed.  Lump in my throat kind of crushed.  And not about the money or the time He would be home.  My solitary and quiet  Tuesdays would be gone.

It took us a couple of weeks of dancing around each other come January when his lay off began but my Tuesdays gradually evolved into our ‘Tues-Dates.’

Tues-Dates!

We have taken in afternoon movies together.  We have gone shopping together.  We have gone to  restaurants for lunch together.  We have attended appointments together.  We have driven around and through neighborhoods together looking for a new house.  Sometimes we have just spent the day quietly at home.

Tues-Dates.

When you have two active children who need to be driven to sports events and practices, driven to school, driven to friends’ houses,  have homework monitored and a constant supply of meals and snacks and laundry tended to, that ‘date time’ gets lost in the shuffle.

And to think I always shook my head when I would hear that ‘parents need to schedule time together AWAY from their kids.’  Not us.   We CHOSE this parenting thing.  Its part of WHOWEARE.   Heh.

Our Tues-Dates have given us back what we used to have – before kids.  We talk more.  We share more.  We strategize our parenting more effectively.  We enjoy each other more.

And now that he is talking about going back to work again….about the assembly plant reopening…..I have been crushed.

My Tues-Dates will be gone.   Our house will be quiet again.  I will be writing….and sewing….and quilting…..and shopping……and cleaning (sometimes)…again.  Alone.

Rats.

The Crimp in My Morning

March 10, 2010

Having written in the past about how much I have enjoyed my mornings, I have to admit that having him home tends to cramp my style a bit. 

 Him…….being this guy. 

Last fall, the kids and I had fallen into a nice routine.  Prince and I would rise at 5 and take showers.  He would fall into a doze stretched out on the couch in front of the sports channel while I wrote  or cruised email and various internet stop overs.  I would wake Princess at 6ish so she could shower.  We would all dress for the day and pack our back packs.  No need to talk really.  Just quietly reflecting on the day ahead.  It was a ‘system.’

 I would be out the door by 6:50 to drive him to the high school  and then head back home to have breakfast with her.  Then we would be out the door for a drive to the middle school by 7:50.   I would drop her off and then go to my own school – which happens to be right next to hers.   I enjoyed those few moments of one on one time with my teens.  I really did.

Occasionally she would come with me to take him and we would go to a cafe between his school and hers for breakfast.  Not often…and usually when we needed a few more minutes to go over materials for a test.  Pathetically the waitress there knows our order before we even order.  Hash browns and hot chocolate for her, breakfast special #1, rye toast and water for me.   Or we would get a quickie breakfast at a fast food place or ‘power shop’ at the nearest Meijer’s store.  Fresh bagels and juice, fruit and salads for lunches generally fill our basket on those mornings and other things needed at school or at home.   Not very often you understand….but often enough to make our mornings special.

And then HE was laid off from his job of 30+ years.  Its only temporary but is lasting for months.  WAY longer than he is used to.

And he likes to talk in the mornings.

To us.

That definitely cramps our style.

He wakes us up and watches the television news as we shower and dress and pack backpacks/lunches….or not.  HE drives the Prince to school and then comes home to drive the Princess to school and then drops me off at my school right next door.  Once we have gone to the cafe for breakfast…but it was costly for three.  Once we power shopped but he doesn’t know the ‘system.’  Plan ahead, start at the back and work your way forward till you have your basketful.  It was a fiasco.

Definitely puts a crimp in our morning routine.

Aarrrgh.

But some things can be over looked and dealt with after twenty years.  After all, I get to deal with this for a period of time every year.

I mean, how many people are lucky enough to sleep with Santa Claus?

Text Messaging

October 15, 2009

Its no secret that I fought getting into the cell phone racket.   Fiercely.  But, once I pictured my lonely little soccer player at a field not anticipated for practice and no way to reach his dad to let him know where to pick him up, I agreed.  Begrudgingly.  After all. why deal with another phone bill??  That was three years ago.  Heh.

Time to eat some crow.

We all have them now.  We recently shut off our land line because no one was using it anyway.  And the cell phones have literally changed our lives.  No one can hide from us now.  Hee hee.  Oh…except for the Prince who keeps his on silent 99.9 percent of the time.  The other .1 percent of time is reserved for things like football games when he is told that NOT answering a call or a text from one’s parents can result in removal of any and all cell phone privileges.  We still pay the bill after all.  Right?

While I knew the cells would make communication easier in emergencies, I never anticipated how texting would help my husband and I stay in touch.  Communicate.  Texting has been really handy as we are a two soccer player family.  This means games and practices at the same time in very different locations.   Take last Monday for example.

The Prince had a high school game at his home field, which means my husband – who is the keeper of the time clock for all the JV games – had to be there.  He sits up in the booth and handles the mechanics of the timer while another volunteer handles the play by play over the speaker.  A nice, warm booth.  Completely protected from the wind and the rain and the….snow?  I am generally in the bleachers during the games.  NOT protected from the wind or the rain or the …..snow.  This time however, the Princess had a game at another field 45 minutes away.  A wide open field.  On a gray, drizzily Michigan fall evening.  Heh.

Get the picture?

I was sitting in my chair with the other parents of her team mates – huddled under a flannel lined, water resistent blanket that we keep in the car for emergencies.  Since Princess had run out of the house without her warm ups or a jacket or a sweatshirt, I told her she could have the blanket at half time if she needed it.   Right…….

HIS game started at 5:30 pm.  Hers started at 6 pm.  It took a few minutes of settling and shivering before I was finally able to drag my phone out to check in with the hubby about the Prince’s game.  We actually talked.  It was not going well.  After that, we were texting:

Me: (6:21)  1 to 0….she just got a goal.

Me : (6:23)  2 to 0….and now it’s raining.

Him: (6:25)  Not here.

Me: (6:33)  3 to 0

Him: (6:34)  Cool.

Me: (6:35)  Still raining.

Him (6:37) Sorry……

Me: (6:38) Remind me to get my umbrella out of your car and put it in mine.

Him: (6:40) Alright.

Me: (6:42) And I think we need milk.

Him: (6:44) I’ll get some.

Me: (6:49)  4 to 0….she just got another goal

Him: (6:50)  Alright!!

Me: (6:53) Awesome….yours?

Him: (6:52)   6 to 1….losing

Me: (7:00)  Rats.  Hey…she scored AGAIN!

Me; (7:02) I am flipping FREEZING but she sure is HOT!

Me: (7:04)  Dang…they scored again!

Me: (7:07) She scored AGAIN!

Him: (7:08)  What??!

Me: (7:15) Final…8 to O

Him: (7:17)  Awesome

Her: (7:29) We won 8 to O and I got a ‘hat trick!’

Him: (7:30)  Cool

And THAT….is how we communicate.